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“Human affection, warmth, friendship, and so on, are conditions absolutely necessary for happiness”. Dalai Lama

15/5/2013

8 Comments

 
Why do people react to us in a harmful and aggressive way sometimes?  When we have been bruised by another it can be easy to retaliate or withdraw.  In these situations it is important to show compassion, without being walked over.  Coming from a place of compassion allows us to maintain our peace.  It stops us from shutting
ourselves off to all of the love and life there is out there.  

Compassion is something I feel strongly about.  I want to share with you something the Dalai Lama once said -

“Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent, nonharming, and nonaggressive.  It is a mental attitude based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering and is associated with a sense of commitment,  responsibility, and respect towards others…..perhaps one could begin with the
wish that oneself be free of suffering and then take that natural feeling towards oneself and cultivate it, enhance it, and extend it out to include and embrace others.”

If everyone cultivated compassion within themselves there would be less harmful and aggressive behaviour.  But, we cannot change other people. We can cultivate compassion within ourselves though, and then when these things  inevitably happen, we can cope better.
PictureIt really really does!
We can extend our compassion towards someone else who is clearly in negative space, and move on to extend our love and compassion to others.

With Love and Light
Charlotte

Dalai Lama quotes are taken from The Art Of Happiness.

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8 Comments
Danielle link
16/5/2013 12:25:50 pm

Love this Charlotte! I am intrigued to learn more about regressing into introvert mode when you are upset...let's talk about that at the Academy! Hope we can chat soon hugs

Reply
Charlotte link
17/5/2013 02:07:17 am

Thank you Danielle, I love a hug! Yes, lets talk at the Academy. This was a huge issue for me in the past and has made a massive difference for me to come out of it.
Charlotte
x

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Donna link
16/5/2013 02:31:11 pm

It's easy to be compassionate to people who are clearly 'deserving' of it; to be compassionate to those who have hurt us is an advanced life skill. Congratulations for showing compassion. x

Reply
Charlotte link
17/5/2013 02:05:18 am

Thank you Donna, it takes a bit of learning doesn't it but makes such a difference to our own feeling of peace and wellbeing.
Charlotte
x

Reply
Shawn Tuttle link
16/5/2013 08:13:42 pm

HI Charlotte, This is my first time to your blog and am appreciating this thoughtful post on compassion. Admittedly it riled me up because I had a similar situation happen a few weeks ago--apparently I triggered something in someone I was interacting with professionally and he went OFF. Blatantly verbal (it was all through email) abuse.

NEVER acceptable.

Once I got out of freaked out mode and questioning whether I did something to deserve anything like reaction, I, too, was able to come to a place of compassion. (And immense gratitude that the team I was working with was all in agreement that this relationship should be terminated ASAP even though it represented a lot o money.)

In my opinion, we are all on this boat called Life together and it's each of our responsibility to be aware of how we are affecting others. Life is tough enough without being brought down by the people we enlist to help us!

I'm so so so glad that you formally removed yourself from the situation by getting a refund. That in itself is a powerful message to that other person, whether they're ready to listen to the lesson yet or not.

I hope you find a Good coach, soon!

Reply
Charlotte link
17/5/2013 02:04:15 am

Thank you Shawn. You are totally right - never acceptable! I really respect that you turned down money too, not an easy thing to do sometimes. I guess that is the challenge. Self worth has no value!
Charlotte
x

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Shana link
17/5/2013 07:12:53 pm

I love that you shared your vulnerability... the cycle of feelings that you went through. It is never easy when you go through something that can feel so personal of an attack, even when it is not. It is so easy to feel alone in those places, and you have demonstrated a good healthy way of managing those feelings. I am surprised by the story, but am glad you chose to withdraw and get a refund! No sense in staying in a place that does not feel good to you on any level!

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Dominee link
19/5/2013 10:19:32 am

So sorry you went through this but you are being so beautiful and brave and mature and lovely that I am glad that there are you's in the world that embody what compassion looks like!

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