“Are we too busy telling each other we are fine to make any real connection with each other?” - Jamie Catto.
We all know the answer to “how are you?” is “fine thanks”. I am sure we have all wanted to say “you would not believe what is happening in my life right now…..” at least once!
It can be hard to open up about difficulties we are facing with people we know. Where does this lack of true intimacy come from? Are chronic stress and business, long working hours, and short down time giving us less time to connect? Do we naturally doubt our value, or open up to people who don’t deserve it, or care?
When I was definitely not feeling fine, I remember friends inviting me round and me saying “I have had a bad day I just want to go home” (that’s if I even answered the phone). And thinking - they will think it is my fault, will get bored of me moaning, and will judge me for not coping...
Intimacy with those who deserve our story is wonderful and life changing. I’ve had rubbish friends in the past, by cutting those out I have learnt to create and trust a great network. Now I am happy to connect with authentic and wholehearted people. To listen to their woes, and share mine.
Who can you trust with your bad day? How can you nurture that connection?
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Contemplation this week...
I think disapointments are the Universes way of saying “this was not right for you this time”. There might be no obvious big and meanigful lesson. Just that this time “success” was not the best outcome for you.
If we are not really that bothered to miss out on something, it cannot have been truely important to us. Deep disappontments can show us what is worth fighting for, how significant our connection was, how much energy and love we had truly
invested. We will either want to let things go, or pick ourselves up and find another
way to make things work.
I have been looking forward to delivering my Rockstar Coaching workshop at a Festival for months. Due to some issues outside our control, a large number of crew passes for the event had to be withdrawn – mine included. Deeply disappointing. I love this workshop. It just isnt meant to be part of this festival this time.
What can we do to overcome disappointment, and recommit to ourselves from a place of love again? For me, I am certain that this workshop has value. I am going to find another way for the content to reach people, and hopefully work with the organisers another time. Dissapointments force us to be honest. When you next face disapointment ask yourself “how can I make this work?”
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