"When you stop comparing what is right here and now with what you wish were, you can begin to enjoy what is". Cheri Huber
Contemplation this week...
When I signed up for Yoga teaching training I never imagined I would struggle to find confidence in delivering instruction. But I felt awkward, uncomfortable and anxious. I worked hard, and delivered my sequence the best I could for my practical assessment. I felt elated and that I had turned a HUGE corner.
And then I got my feedback... A couple of points really stuck in my throat. But rather than focus on working on them I started to compare myself to other students. Even though I had passed I was judging myself against my peers. Something I have never done before. I have always been content to be who I am, even if I am working towards change.
After investing in something that had been such a challenge for me, the lack of positive feedback left me bereft. Where had my experience, their perception and my response got in such a muddle?
I then got some truly excellent advice and after a good chat with the course leader things were put into perspective.
One of my favourite lessons from yoga is to act free from attachment to the outcome. Rather than focusing on the criticism I am now focusing on the energy and intention that I put into it. I did my best. I showed up and stepped into the arena. I did battle with the things that challenged me. For that I will always be proud of
When we have commitments, work hard, want a life and to have nice things, it can be hard to find a balance and do everything.
Everyone is busy, so it must be right, right? I believe it’s a modern fallacy that if
we are not busier than others we are not doing life right. Life is so full of stuff, but is it the right stuff? Is that stuff making you happy?
Again and again I hear this idea we have to do more, have less free time, less sleep, more stress in order to be accepted and our efforts acknowledged.
When did this happen? Why is it wrong to relax, have time and energy to enjoy the fruits of our labours? And I mean each day, not in a time slot we had to book 3 months in advance and re-schedule twice.
How do we create balance? For me, this started by writing a personal statement. I began brainstorming the things I wanted, who I am, what is important to me etc. I developed those words into sentences, and tied it all together. I revisit and review
this statement regularly.
No matter what your current obligations and constraints may be. With clarity, focus, and will you can achieve a better life balance. It might take compromise, giving some things up completely, accepting help, investment, and time.
And, if you would like some help writing that personal statement, sign up to The Happy Hunt to download the pdf on Personal Statements in the Resources Page – it is completely free.
See you soon!
“Human affection, warmth, friendship, and so on, are conditions absolutely necessary for happiness”. Dalai Lama
Why do people react to us in a harmful and aggressive way sometimes? When we have been bruised by another it can be easy to retaliate or withdraw. In these situations it is important to show compassion, without being walked over. Coming from a place of compassion allows us to maintain our peace. It stops us from shutting
ourselves off to all of the love and life there is out there.
Compassion is something I feel strongly about. I want to share with you something the Dalai Lama once said -
“Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent, nonharming, and nonaggressive. It is a mental attitude based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering and is associated with a sense of commitment, responsibility, and respect towards others…..perhaps one could begin with the
wish that oneself be free of suffering and then take that natural feeling towards oneself and cultivate it, enhance it, and extend it out to include and embrace others.”
If everyone cultivated compassion within themselves there would be less harmful and aggressive behaviour. But, we cannot change other people. We can cultivate compassion within ourselves though, and then when these things inevitably happen, we can cope better.
We can extend our compassion towards someone else who is clearly in negative space, and move on to extend our love and compassion to others.
With Love and Light
Dalai Lama quotes are taken from The Art Of Happiness.
Apparently sales and marketing are important for business. Having always considered myself to be terrible at them I invested in training.
My issue is I don’t want to be pushy or slimy.
I found someone who promoted their on-line sales and marketing course as a new specifically non slimy and sleazy way. I contemplated, investigated, and jumped in, keen to learn and full of hope.
A few weeks in we were being told to offer ‘bribes’…can you hear my heart sinking? I contemplated some more. I don’t have to bribe, I can leave that and learn the other
By the final module we were being told to use techniques which were creating a lot of resistance.
Feeling vulnerable I reached out on the weekly coaching call, submitting a question asking if there was another way and what I could do to help my resistance.
Well…I received a very public and humiliating ‘smack down’ (as it was described
afterwards on the forum).
"The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered your become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become". Gisele Bundchen
Sometimes, even though we have a niggling feeling that something is not right for us, we do it anyway. Why?
In my past I have ignored my intuition because of my eternal optimism that things will be fine and lack of confidence in my decision making. For example, I commit to something, and then get a bad feeling. Instead of calling time I keep going – sure that I committed for a reason; there is something I can learn.
Maybe as we get older we become more confident in our decision making? Foreseeing which possible outcomes are more likely as a result of our life experience.
Also, as I become more committed to myself, my gifts, outlook, and potential, I can feel an actual intuitive presence guiding me. Authenticity, integrity, and honestly have
become increasingly important to me. As my life has become more aligned with these values, so my sense of when they are and are not present is heightened.
Now I see that these alarm bells are vital to my happiness. If I am not honouring my intuition I am not honouring my values. As I am more able to trust what is good and right for me, so I am able to respectfully decline and withdraw from what is not.
The voice within us, the niggle, the shiver, the headache, the tension – can become the flutter of joy, the leap of the heart, the good night sleep, the sigh of relief.
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